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Ma names George, This is Ma story!

GeorgeM

Active member
Location
Merseyside, England
Well,

I came to Altis after a long 3 years of living in the lake district, UK. I heard it was a nice, hot and beautiful island and that all of the tourists went there for holidays. "What could go wrong" i thought, and so, i packed my bags and left for the airport. 

I have to say, there were a lot of strange people at that airport, like a man came up to me and informed me my flight was departing soon, what a weirdo.....

When my flight landed, the first thing i heard was the speaker phone saying that my flight had to stay in the runway as there had been a head-on collision with two helicopters, and there were medics on the way. What a first impression, right?

WAIT, there's more. 

So after the wreckage of what was once two helicopters was cleared away, my flight was taxied to an entry point. I got out, the air was warm, there was music, there was a slight smell of burning fleshand there was clearly enjoyment all around.

I got into a taxi and was charged £1000 for a 200m journey, i was going to get out and walk, until i remembered i had no legs. So i paid the driver and he took me to my hotel for the night. The hotel was cheap, only £100 for a 0.5* hotel. Bargain!

It was comfy, and the dog that came free of charge with the hotel room only bothered me twice, so i had a nice sleep. I was awoken the next morning by gunshots literally right outside my hotel. I stepped out onto the balcony, and fell a full story because there was no balcony.

It occurred to me while i was trying to get back onto my two stumps, that the gas station next to my hotel was being robbed, and my free doggo from yesterday had been shot three times in the stomach, however it had a Carrier Rig (Heavy) on and it stopped all of the bullets.

I wanted to see what was going on so i stepped into the door and i was greeted by a man with a Rook pointed at my face saying "gEt DoWn YoU SiLlY PrIcK GiMmE aLL YeR MoNeY". The man took me hostage and before i knew it a raging gunfight was happening before my eyes. The man holding me was shot twice and let go of me because of the pain. I turned, stamped on his face and walked away, thats when a group of police officers told me to put my hands up and that i was going to jail. 

i was like "YEEEET".

I ran as far as i could but a hunter caught up with me and ran me over. I was knocked unconscious and awoke with 3 armed gang members looking at me wake up, creepy...

they said you will be alright, then put me on a stretcher and dragged me away. While i was enjoying the luxury of being dragged away, i saw a load of dead policemen on the ground and realised that it was those men who saved me.

i wanted to join the cause, and so applied to the gang as soon as i could. The first one was declined and the only message i got back was "nope, your a pussy". So i tried a different gang, BOOM, accepted. 

It wasn't for long though as two weeks into my career, i got angry at a gang mate who stole my diamond pickaxe after i told him not to go in my enchantment chest, and stabbed him to death. 

What was i to do with my life. Thats when i came across drugs... They helped me through most nights, however when i didn't take them i felt suicidal. And so stopped after taking 2 months of drug therapy. I was asked to join many gangs, but one stood out for me. It cannot be named. 

I got into their radio frequency and the first thing they said was: "We have your plate carrier doggo, come to gang base and get him". I got into a taxi and was charged £50000 for a 100m drive. I paid, then we drove off. I didn't know where this so called 'gang base' was, however i knew for sure i had found it when we went past a sign post reading "GANG BASE".

I walked inside and saw many drugs laid out on the tables, there was also a throne, with a man in it.

I tried to talk with the man but he was too busy on his Nintendo 3DS. So i shouted, and he finally looked at me.

He said "Are you the doggo guy?".

I said "yes i am the doggo guy".

He said "you want your doggo?".

I said "yes i would like doggo".

He then proceeded to give me plate carrier doggo and i walked out of there with my head held high and proud!

Until i was shot in the face and the bullet took my jaw off.

Medics came by minutes later and asked me what happened, and i was like "muuhhhhfrushssemmuusssscchcccccchhsss".

When the medic realised i had no jaw, he went to the market, bought another one, and drilled me it back in. I felt as good as new with my doggo and my new jaw.

That was yesterday, today i went to the shops and bought the new "Pokemon: Legend of LMAO". Ive been bumming it all day side i got it.

But anyway, thats for tuning in, more stories to come.

 
This was enjoyable to read

 
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