Vladimir Hobovskitch
Active member
- Location
- England
"Ateeeen..TION!" shouted the Commanding Officer outside the barracks of our training grounds. My right hand instinctively shot up to a salute with my legs & back straight. The sound of many other young men, teenagers, doing the exact same echoed across the field as hard boots smashed into the ground sternly. He - as well as other Officers - eyed us all up, making sure our "uniforms" were as immaculate as ever, as expected. Wait, that was uniform inspection? "Dismissed!" We all started going back to our respective barracks with the usual vocal hum of banter in the atmosphere. "Otesman!" shouted the CO. I performed a 180 degree turn on my heel, landed my other boot firmly against the ground stood to attention with my hands behind my straightened back, and my straightened legs. The fights were obvious; my face was bruised. "Otesman, been getting into more fights?" "No sir! Horse riding accident sir." His eyebrow raised, he knew it was a lie. "Explain." So I did as instructed; "I fell off a horse, sir." One of the other officers approached me from behind. "What happened to your knuckles then?" By this point I knew I was caught out. I looked down to my boots. "We told you no more fights, Otesman. You know what that means?" "Yes s-" "Fuck off. Go on, you aren't a part of the British Army anymore. If you want to get into fights so much, we can fuck you off all the way to Tanoa. Like that wouldn't you, barbaric bastard. Go on, off." He nodded, and I took my leave. Leaving my combat fatigues behind I packed up all my stuff and left.
As soon as I had reached what can remotely be called a "home" I whipped up the laptop - which took about ten minutes to boot up - and rather than doing the sensible thing and finding employment elsewhere in the UK, I got what money I had left from my incentive on joining the Army and spent it on going to Tanoa.
Worst. Idea. Ever.
I absolutely hate stinging insects like bees and wasps. Disgusting. Hornets are worse. And you know what, Tanoa's a really moist and heated place. Wasps. Wasps for all! And the bloody bees! Aside from the rant of insects, it was also.. an under-developed.. thing. Not an island, or a community, just.. a thing. It exists, and thats about it. Finding myself getting off the jet at Tanoa International Airport I felt the heatwave hit me instantly, it felt like I got pushed right back into the plane - no wait, that was the guy at the door tripping over. At least it looks really, really, REALLY green. I'm here in Tanoa now anyway, and I've got no money except to buy a crappy little offroad. Starting from the absolute bottom. Whoopie. 16 and.. Tanoa..een? That was terrible - Oh well, Jake Otesman's going off on another Offroader adventure.
As soon as I had reached what can remotely be called a "home" I whipped up the laptop - which took about ten minutes to boot up - and rather than doing the sensible thing and finding employment elsewhere in the UK, I got what money I had left from my incentive on joining the Army and spent it on going to Tanoa.
Worst. Idea. Ever.
I absolutely hate stinging insects like bees and wasps. Disgusting. Hornets are worse. And you know what, Tanoa's a really moist and heated place. Wasps. Wasps for all! And the bloody bees! Aside from the rant of insects, it was also.. an under-developed.. thing. Not an island, or a community, just.. a thing. It exists, and thats about it. Finding myself getting off the jet at Tanoa International Airport I felt the heatwave hit me instantly, it felt like I got pushed right back into the plane - no wait, that was the guy at the door tripping over. At least it looks really, really, REALLY green. I'm here in Tanoa now anyway, and I've got no money except to buy a crappy little offroad. Starting from the absolute bottom. Whoopie. 16 and.. Tanoa..een? That was terrible - Oh well, Jake Otesman's going off on another Offroader adventure.
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