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The Marmitey Chronicles of WhoisDan

WhoisDan

Yeastological Expert
Lifetime Donator
Location
The Marmite Pit
The situation on Altis was becoming critical. It all started for a young traveler with long-term memory loss when he reached the shores of Kavala after a long trek from the UK. For as long as he could remember, WhoisDan's life ambition was to find the perfect jar of Marmite. But finding a jar containing Marmite with the perfect shade of brown, with the perfect taste was no easy task. So he set sail for Altis, where he almost immediately joined a group of equally obsessed Marmite enthusiasts. Led by Ash Mycaelis and Cutter, WhoisDan and the rest of the Marmite Miners set to work, taking advantage of the rich salt flats of the eastern parts of the island to try to create their own perfect jar of Marmite. They created thousands upon thousands of jars, but alas, despite years of hard work, it seemed as if creating the perfect jar was an impossible task.

The realization of this hit the Marmite Miners hard. As the thousands of jars were shipped to the markets to be sold, people began to give up. One by one, the Miners left, some of them joining violent gangs in their anger at the failure of the Marmite Mission, others departing the island for good and leaving their Marmitey ambitions to rot in what remained of the Marmite Miners HQ. With only a few Yeastological Experts remaining, morale in the Marmite Miners hit an all time low. They continued to produce sub-standard Marmite for the locals, determined not to let the name of Marmite die, but it was with a heavy heart as they knew that eventually it would come to an end. Even the Lead Yeastological Experts, Mycaelis and Cutter, left, leaving nothing but the deeds to the Marmite HQ, with- for some strange reason- a large letter T on the other side. WhoisDan didn't understand what the 'T' was supposed to represent. No one did. Nobody had the motivation to even try to figure it out, for the Miners knew that something horrible was happening. Marmite was dying. 

But then, when all hope seemed to be lost, a new opportunity emerged out of thin air. WhoisDan learned of the island of Tanoa, where rumours of the perfect Marmite jar buzzed. Suddenly, the 'T' made sense. Quick to tell his comrades, the few remaining Marmite Miners began planning for their voyage to Tanoa. Marmite hadn't sold in a long time, and so the Marmite bank was empty, making any kind of legal exit from Altis impossible, which meant one thing: they would be leaving illegally. They would become fugitives. They would never be able to return. 

In late June, the Miners put their plan into action. Armed with toy pistols that they had painted over to try to make them look real, they apologetically stole a submarine from a man in a latex bodysuit. After giving him a free jar of Marmite in an attempt to ease his burden, the Miners set off. Their voyage would be long, hard and stressful. The seas would be rough. The police would be scouring the ocean for them. But none of this mattered. They would make it. They had to, because this was the key to keeping Marmite alive. Tanoa was the key to everything.

To be continued...

 
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