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BratJaggesVlnd

BratJaggesVlnd

Avdanced Member
Unlinked
Location
Sweden
Most of you probably wont know who I am, as there is a whole new generation of altisians living on the island now. Maybe you will know me as the guy who is fifth richest on the server, the one you always asked youself  "who the hell is that i've never even seen him?!".

Well, I am here to donate 50 million to someone. If you can type something here that genuinely makes me laugh, you will get the money. Hopefully by a staff memebrs help since I don't really come online anymore to give you the money myself. The reason it is only 50 million is because I have promised @Fuel for so, SO long that he would get my money, as payment for me reking him and his mates at coke processing ( ;) ). So he will have 50 million. (Bet you never thought this day would come!). And the other 50 I will either give to some scrub I like that still plays the server, or keep cause I just like to log in to the stats page and see how rich I am now and again. 

Anyways, forgive the messy post. I just returned from a family function where I had a beer or two. (maybe seven or eight even).

Not sure how to end this post. Like I said, type anything you think will make me laugh. Not just go "lol" in my head, but really laugh.

Damn, I wish I could have made some kind of in-game event out of this but Im really, really lazy. Plus i'm not really sure what even goes on in-game anymore, logged on a few days ago and was super confused at times. But that's what I get for being away so long.

God, look at me going on and on here. But my (very pregnant) girlfriend is away, Im alittle drunk and frankly, for a potential 50 mil you can be arsed to read a wall of text eh?

 
Dj Fuckin Badboy hereSteamin as Shite, Am 'boot ti tell you a story'Boot ma Friday night.Bored as fuck I'm sittin in ma hoose, Ma body's aw stiff an a need ti let loose.What a perfect time, ti de-fuckin-stressIt's only one day oot the week, But it's the fuckin best.So it's a friday nightAn I'm walkin up the streetSo everybody better bounceTo the fuckin beatSinginAhm a lightweight and I am stickinBottle o beer and ahm oot ma chickinDJ Badboy's got the baws o steelOff a bottle o Buckie and a fiver dealSayinAhm a lightweight and I am stickinBottle o beer and ahm oot ma chickinDJ Badboy's got the baws o steelOff a bottle o Buckie and a fiver dealGot my bottle o Buck an I'm fuckin setIt tastes like shit but... nae sweatI get ti the hoose and the party's pumpinTunes are nice and the bass is thumpinSpot a burd dancin' thru the padI'm checkin her her oot an she looks nae badI gied her a drink and I hud one taeThen a conversation started and I hud ti say... I'm a lightweight and I am stickinBottle o buckie and ahm oot ma chickinDJ Badboy's got baws o steelOff a bottle o Buckie and a fiver dealSayinI'm a lightweight and I am stickinBottle o buckie and ahm oot ma chickinDJ Badboy's got baws o steelOff a bottle o Buckie and a fiver dealSo the bint's half-jaked an I'm pretty fucked taeShe's sittin on ma kneeWhat did she say... Are yi DJ Badboy? Ah said aye, The minute ah said that she stopped bein shyShe said take me ti the room an dae dirty stuffThe dirty bitch even wanted it up the duffSo I got her in the bed an I cuffed her tightAn said... Sorry doll your on your own tonightBecauseAhm a lightweight and I am stickinBottle o buckie and ahm oot ma chickinDJ Badboy's got baws o steelOff a bottle o Buckie and a fiver dealSayinAhm a lightweight and I am stickinBottle o buckie and ahm oot ma chickinDJ Badboy's got baws o steelOff a bottle o Buckie and a fiver dealDJ Fuckin Badboy... Friday Fuckin Night... LAAADDSSS! DJ Fuckin BadbooooyOoonnncceeee aaaagggaaaiiiinnnn... So I left the burdCuffed ti the bedBy the time eh came ootThe fuckin perty wiz deadThere wiz fuck all butDrink n rubbish everywhereHalf the cunts pure crashedLyin on the flareKen ah wiz fuckedN it wiz time ti leaveEh charred a bottle o buckN stuck it up ma sleeveDrinkin mare n mareWalkin doon the streetMa legs pure turned tae jellyAn ah lost the beatAh staggered side ti sideFell right on ma cuntAh done a tripple somersaultAn a fuckin stuntLyin on ma backLookin to the skyThen a burd bends downLooks me straight in the eyeShe says"oh ma god, you're fuckin oot yir tree"Ah said"nae shit doll, it's fuckin plain tae see"She didnae even even helpShe just walked awaI wiz on ma arseN couldnae stand ataaBecause ah ah ah ahAhm a lightweight and I am stickinBottle o buckie and ahm oot ma chickinDJ Badboy's got baws o steelBottle o Buckie and a fiver dealSayinAhm a lightweight and I am stickinBottle o buckie and ahm oot ma chickinDJ Badboy's got baws o steelBottle o Buckie and a fiver fuckin deal

 
tumblr_n9gzpfXJ161tnzwcoo1_500.gif


 
It’s the World Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbour if someone will be sitting there. ‘No,’ says the neighbour. ‘The seat is empty.’ ‘This is incredible,’ said the man. ‘Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Final and not use it?’

The neighbour says, ‘Well actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven’t been to together since we got married.’ ‘Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that.

That’s terrible….But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend, relative or even a neighbour to take her seat?’ The man shakes his head. ‘No,’ he says. ‘They’re all at the funeral.’ 

 
Well whilst I sit here and wish you'd give me the 50 million I was reminded of an old saying by one eye "wish in one hand, shit in the other and see which gets filled first" now while I do appreciate his wisdom let's hope he's wrong eh?

 
BratJaggesVlnd said:
Most of you probably wont know who I am, as there is a whole new generation of altisians living on the island now. Maybe you will know me as the guy who is fifth richest on the server, the one you always asked youself  "who the hell is that i've never even seen him?!".

Well, I am here to donate 50 million to someone. If you can type something here that genuinely makes me laugh, you will get the money. Hopefully by a staff memebrs help since I don't really come online anymore to give you the money myself. The reason it is only 50 million is because I have promised @Fuel for so, SO long that he would get my money, as payment for me reking him and his mates at coke processing ( ;) ). So he will have 50 million. (Bet you never thought this day would come!). And the other 50 I will either give to some scrub I like that still plays the server, or keep cause I just like to log in to the stats page and see how rich I am now and again. 

Anyways, forgive the messy post. I just returned from a family function where I had a beer or two. (maybe seven or eight even).

Not sure how to end this post. Like I said, type anything you think will make me laugh. Not just go "lol" in my head, but really laugh.

Damn, I wish I could have made some kind of in-game event out of this but Im really, really lazy. Plus i'm not really sure what even goes on in-game anymore, logged on a few days ago and was super confused at times. But that's what I get for being away so long.

God, look at me going on and on here. But my (very pregnant) girlfriend is away, Im alittle drunk and frankly, for a potential 50 mil you can be arsed to read a wall of text eh?
Click to expand...
I thought for a minute there you were coming back but I guess you're not!

So stick your 50 million up your piss hole I don't fucking want it.

 
Brat, want to go to shack with me? I promise nothing like this

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will happen this time. Pinky promise. Really.

Loveyou Brat, do come back with us pls

 
Nice to see you're giving all that money away.

On a side note, wondered if you could help. Someone stole my Microsoft Office earlier and I'm going to make them pay for it. You have my Word.

 
Benjamin Manu 

I was in AR lad dont rob me - Matt x

i've never ate a watermelon - ducky

Junior: Is it normal in Sweden not to use deodrant

"I had a fun time a while ago rp'ing being a guy thinking he was a whale" - random guy

 
 
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